My wife is a dangerous piece of human. As they say, I must have done some really good things in my past life to have her in this life. Whatever that is, I’m not doing it in this life. Talking about this life, yesterday, when I was at the office doing the same old task of pretending to work, I got my wife’s call from home. I picked up. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Nothing, just preparing for the dinner.“ She replied. “It’s 11 AM darling (yeah, I have to use those words to make her feel I don’t fear her, but love her); I think we eat dinner around 11 PM. Why don’t you talk to your father until I return home?” I said. And yes, there’s nothing bad in having a conversation for 8 hours with your dad. It shows how deeply you love wasting your and other’s time. On the other side, her dad can’t prevent her from talking because he loves breathing and living in this world. It won’t look good on his suicide note — which my wife would force him to write before pushing him from the balcony — to write that it is boring to live without a wife, as he divorced his wife right after fulfilling his needs, which is to have two kids. Anyway, she quickly informed me that the book — Knife by Salman Rushdie — which I had ordered a few days ago, had arrived. Knowing her desire to kill people in her dreams, I told her, “Baby, can you please just put it on my desk and not read it?“ “Yeah, sure!“ She replied. “Thanks!“ I said and hung up.
After completing a few meetings at the office about what to discuss in the next meeting, I reached home. As they say, “Home is where your mom is.” I’m afraid my son won’t say this. I ring the bell, hoping to be inside my home in the next few seconds. But life is the opposite when you live with a killer wife. I ring the bell again. This time, in a continuous manner. I am a bit frustrated — like my boss not getting the ROI from their employees despite giving them above-average salaries. Finally, the door opens. She’s standing in front of me with the book I told her not to read in hand. I like her. Just the way she challenges me everytime by not listening to what I’m saying. “Hey, baby! Have you started reading already? I told you not to read it, remember?“ I said. “No, you didn’t say anything like it.“ She replied. “Why it’s written 690452 on your wrist?“ I asked. No replies. Not that I could hear.
Now, I’m following the ritual of spending (quality) time with her. She makes me sit on a second-hand three-seater wood sofa that I bought for INR 3700/-. I like second-hand things. They become mature when they come to you. For example, a wife. Not my wife, of course. But in general. She’s now telling me what she did her whole day without me while I was at the office for 8 hours, which is sleeping for 8 hours. “I saw a strange reel today in which a person said, if you write 690452 on your wrist before sleeping, you’ll be stuck in your dreams or parallel universe. And that means if you die or kill someone in your dreams, you or the person you kill will be dead in real life, too.” She said. “That’s scary.“ I said. “Wait, you’re alive, that means someone is dead.“ I said. She smiled gently. I’ve never seen this gentle smile on her face before.
Suddenly, her phone rings. It’s her father. She picks up the call. Her father seems happy, as I can hear him talking breathlessly. Now, she’s more happy than his father. Both are laughing fearlessly, as if something that they wanted to happen all their lives, finally happened. “Welcome.“ She said to her father and hung up the call. “What was it about?“ I asked. “My father called to inform me that finally, after 35 years, God listened to his wish.“ She replied. “What wish?“ I asked. “He every day used to wish that someone kill his wife, whom he divorced years ago. and it finally happened.” She replied. “What? Really? Like in-real, someone killed your mother?“ I asked. She ignored me and started whispering the 690452, 690452, 690452.
I KNEW SHE WOULD READ IT 🤣🤣🤣🤣 LIKE YOU HAVE MENTIONED IT NOT TO, IT MEANS SHE NOW HAS TO. SO MANY YEARS AND YOU HAVEN'T LEARNT THE LESSON 🤣🤦🏼♀️
Really enjoyed the twist!